Saturday, January 31, 2009

warning: emotions ahead!

It seems to me that planning this wedding would be infinitely more fun if E was around. I'm perfectly content for him to think that most of the stuff I'm doing isn't worth his time. I don't expect him to have an opinion of the 12 invitation styles I'm trying to decide between...I just want him to be here. I'm not one to post about this, but E gets really upset when I vent/cry about missing him as he can't do much about it.

Somtimes I think I would literally give up this wedding if I could go back to our college days. We lived in the same dorm building, met eachother for breakfast, lunch and dinner most days, studied together in the library, walked to class, and cuddled on the couch to do homework. Even if we both had crazy days (he was a philosophy major (+ three minors) and always writing papers, and I was the editor-in-chief of the student newspaper), we could still pop into the other's room to say goodnight.

E and I at my graduation open house. (and uncle T's peace sign) (also, don't ask about the facial hair...)
This was just a couple days before he moved back home. Little did we know what we were in for with this long-distance thing!

That was only 8 months ago! And I hardly remember it.

The last few months a bunch of distant family friends and people from my church have gotten engaged. For some reason, bridal jealousy has kicked in. I don't feel like my wedding is as special(i know it's not a competition, but it feels like it). I don't feel like i'm having nearly as much fun as everyone else is, having to plan the entire thing across the country from my love.

I know I'm the not only one in the world having to deal with this, but I am so wishing we could just go back to the non-stressful happy dating times.

When I look at the big picture, I know--we're only 5 months away from the big day and it's all over. But then I'll be moving and my entire life will change. Marriage is going to be so different from dating. I'm excited about it, but just a little apprehensive.

I would give an awful lot for a cheap date and walk around a college campus this weekend. :-(


Brandy said...

Hang in there! 5 months will fly by and then you'll be married and thinking "wow it seems like so long ago that we were engaged!"


Adrienne said...

You will be married and together before you know it and this will be a memory. It will make marriage that much sweeter!

My Dream Ring said...

I bet these last 5 months will zoom on by, before you know it you will be Mrs.E! {{HUGS}}

Hannah said...

You took the words right of my mouth!!
I hate when I get emotional and cry to mr. airforce for the same reasons. He gets upset and feels like he's not being a very good fiance because there is nothing he can do to make me feel better!

I keep telling myself I'm less than 4 months from being his wife, but that doesn't make RIGHT NOW any better lol.

Chin up-- we will make it!! Do you have webcams by any chance? We have used ours a couple of times and loved it.

AmyJean {Relentless Bride®} said...

That is so sweet.... sometimes when we long for someone, i think we forgot how lucky we are to have someone to long for... it's a good reminder that you are one lucky chica! :)
PS. and time will fly :-)

Margot said...

Awww, I feel your pain. Mr. MagPie lives near me -- we're still in our parents' houses (for about 30 more days, until we sign our apartment lease) -- but he's in his final year of grad/med school (physical therapy), and between class, studying and working (four part-time jobs, because he's paying for his schooling himself), I usually only get to see him once (ONCE!) a week. And we live in the same town!

** Noticed you're a frequent Weddingbee reader (as am I), and wanted to stop by to read and say hi! **

Sarah said...

Hang in there girl! It will get better!!

I tagged you!

Katie said...

I just stumbled on your blog, and I just have to say that this entry = my life right now. I understand every thing you are feeling right now. While I'm slightly jealous your wedding day is 5 mos away, I can appreciate your lack of enthusiasm about your engagement. Long distance relationships are really hard. My boyfriend and I are 8 hours apart, and it gets harder every day.

Just know that in 5 months you'll be married(!!), and the distance won't even be an issue anymore. :) I needed to read this tonight. Thanks.

Gary, Christie, Anna and Izzy said...

I snuck on to your blog. :) Was that my father in the picture of you 2? Oye. Love the blog - you'll look back on this later in life and laugh and remember how short this time was and how many other decisions you've had to make in your life since then.

Love ya!

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