Thursday, June 19, 2014

Five years of marriage

I know writing a mushy anniversary post is so bloggy cliche, but I was feeling really mushy this morning on my fifth anniversary, so you all can deal (or just roll your eyes and ignore it).


When I think about the giddy feelings of five years ago, I can't believe how naive and unprepared I was for marriage. I imagine many brides feel this way before their wedding day (especially those separated by 2,000 miles for most of their relationship, like we were!) I dreamed about travel, and romantic dinners and cuddling at night and kissing every morning.

I had the silliest ideas about how marriage would fulfill and complete me. About how fun and exciting and romantic it would be every day. Marriage was going to fix all of our long-distance communication struggles, soften our rough edges, and insta-solve our conflicts.


But of course, marriage has turned out to be so much harder than I expected. It has been refiner's fire. It has been a wrestling of wills. It has been many, many moments of "intense fellowship" (as one of our pastor's calls marital conflict). It has been tears and frustration and disappointment and "I can't believe you!" and "how dare you!" and "who even ARE you?"

It has been long discussions with no resolutions. It has been going to bed angry sometimes and waking up still angry. It's been staring blankly at a wall for an hour and thinking there is just no way to fix this.

It has been the hardest five years of my life.

And it has been the best.

Happy, happy. #nofilter #graduation

Marriage has been so much more transformative and more fulfilling than I could have imagined. It has taught me about myself, it has taught me about others, and more than anything, it has taught me about the character of God. It has shown me my own selfishness in ways I never could have seen on my own, and it has changed me for the better. It has been a comfort, an encouragement, a haven and a home. (And it has involved those travel adventures, romantic dinners and morning kisses too!)

Marriage didn't fulfill my deepest needs, but it did point me to the place where my deepest needs are met. It drove me, time and time again, to Jesus and his redemptive love.


And as I sit here getting pummeled from the inside by one of the greatest blessings our marriage has produced while my husband builds homes in Mexico with our church, I am extremely grateful that God saw fit to bless me with E, and to bless me with marriage.


Here's to another 5 years of companionship, blessing and lot of growth!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Bump Style

I have semi-revived my style Tumblr, so if you want to follow along as I figure out maternity fashion, click here!

You can also follow me on Instagram for more semi-occasional bump selfies or on Pinterest where I'm constantly searching for gender neutral baby gear that doesn't make me want to scoop out my eyeballs.

Thank you for all your love, concern and support after my last post. Hearing from ladies all over, at all stages of mothering and non-mothering, some that identified with me, and some that just wanted to encourage me, has been an amazing experience. It is another reminder of the wonderful community that the last 5 years of blogging has brought!

More reflections to come... XO

Monday, May 5, 2014

20 weeks: some reflections at the halfway point

(20 week pictures are at the bottom of the post if this part is boring for you!)

I haven't done a very good job of pregnancy updates. I never planned to do weekly blog updates, but it's been harder than I thought to write about pregnancy at all. (The fact that I spend lots of time in tears on the bathroom floor for absolutely no reason probably has something to do with that. Pregnancy hormones are wrecking me!)

I tend to deal with life in a very big picture, long-term sort of way. So when faced with the enormous prospect of parenting, the lifestyle changes it brings, and the particularly hard and scary stages coming up (like infancy), I've been feeling very overwhelmed and unprepared. It's hard to write about fear and anxiety toward a process that for most people is so anticipated and joyous. But there it is: I'm having a baby and I'm scared.

I'm continually amazed at how much mamas go through to bring life into the world. Pregnancy is not a joke. Big kudos to all the moms of the world (especially those who can do it with less whining that I can.) I am a big huge baby myself  - more proof of God's sense of humor.

A recent girls' weekend and conversations with dear friends/mamas who emphasized the fun and fullness that life with kids will bring has helped me start to emerge from my cocoon of terror and try to enjoy the process, as well as get a little excited for the big transitions ahead.

Everyone deals with change - especially one as big as a new baby - differently, but I've started to come to a few realizations that have helped me cope:

  • Just because I'm mourning my impending loss of freedom and sleep, doesn't mean I don't love my baby.
  • Just because I'm packing in vacations, excursions and fun into the next four months, with the fear that they'll never happen again, doesn't mean I don't love my baby.
  • Just because I want to (don't have to) to go back to work, doesn't mean I don't love my baby.
  • Just because I'm not a "baby person," doesn't mean I won't love my baby.

At the bottom of it all, we know that God picked this timing to bring a child into our lives and we are overwhelmed and thankful. (For the record, E is very excited and not nearly as nervous as I have been.)

And this baby is coming, whether I'm ready or not.

Anyway, here is a little bumpdate since we're halfway (!!)

Thank you for letting me share.

Lots of love & kicks,
Katie and Baby Latte

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

San Francisco, Here We Come!

Photo Source

There is nothing like the anticipation of vacation. The scouring of TripAdvisor for hidden gems, looking up blogs from locals, and booking an apartment on Airbnb. The daydreaming and planning and counting down until a few delightful days off in a row.

When we found out I was pregnant, I immediately started panicking about all the travel we would miss out on after the arrival of a little one. I have great friends who have assured me that travel can and will still happen, but realistically with two jobs less than a year old, we know that our vacation time and funds will be limited for a little while. So we're squeezing in short trips wherever we can between now and September.

After exploring a few options, we decided to spend my birthday weekend in a city I can't believe I  haven't visited yet - San Francisco!

The things we are most interested in doing — besides a few of the tourist attractions like a night-tour of Alcatraz and a city bike tour — are local food (but nothing too fancy), amazing coffee (I'm drinking every drop of my allotted 12 oz a day), and history of arts/culture.

So give me your suggestions! Where should we eat, drink, and walk that is off the beaten path (but not outside the city)? Anything I should I read to prepare for the trip?

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

#firsttrimesterproblems: tweets I couldn't tweet

Here is, I hope, a bit of comic relief. Pregnancy is WEIRD. And even though I feel like I'm the last person on earth to do this baby thing, there is still so much that was never told to me.

My first trimester journal, in tweet form (p.s. if you click on any of them, you can tweet them yourself!)

Anything else I missed?

Monday, March 17, 2014

A latte more love...

We are excited and overwhelmed to announce that our family is growing...

Somebody pinch me — it doesn't quite feel real (and I forgot to wear green today)!
More to come.


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