Monday, November 14, 2011

learning an old lesson

I've had to make a few tough decisions lately. Life was getting a little bit too overwhelming and finally on the verge (or maybe in the middle of ) a breakdown I knew it was time to chill out and re-evaluate where all my time has been going.

The Greek class I've been taking was requiring more time and attention from me. With all of my work trips I felt like I could never catch up. One night, after getting home late Sunday night and sitting down immediately to study for my catch up quiz the next morning, I realized that this class I was taking was no longer 'for fun' the way I had intended it to be.

So I cried for about an hour (I can be really dramatic), and decided to drop the class. I could have, and maybe should have, done so a lot sooner, but my pride was getting in the way. At this point with work and home responsibilities, I really needed to be 100% committed to school to make it work. And I wasn't. So when life got a little busier, I got quickly discouraged and put off anything productive in favor of wallowing in self-pity.

I never wanted to be that person who is ALWAYS SO BUSY and never has time to talk or get together because of the stress level she's under and spends all her time talking about how her life is so crazy. But over  the past three weeks that has definitely been me.

I learned (am still learning) a pretty heavy lesson that I'm bad at prioritizing and time management, and that I need to think more intentionally about how I spend my time. Time is a gift I've been given to steward and I consistently use it poorly, causing stress on me and everyone around me.

After a few really crazy weeks, it feels refreshing to wipe the slate clean, take a deep breath, pray for focus and diligence, and get started again.


Layla said...

Nothing wrong with that! I've been doing this too, thinking more intentionally about how I spend my time. So far, so good! I hope this clean slate gives you some peace.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, nothing for you to feel bad about here. Take the class when you have time! You're not doing anyone any favors by stressing yourself out!

Unknown said...

I always do this to myself. We move around every couple of years and I have the chance to start over - but I always end up in tears because of over committing. This time in San Francisco, we have no weekly commitments outside of church on Sunday. It's so refreshing to have a quiet weeknight evening and hang out with friends on a whim. It's a nice balance that I hope I can hang on to!

Katie said...

I'm apparently not very good at time management either (learning that lesson also). I'm not nearly as productive as I want to be, and never feel like I have time to get things done. I know the feeling! Good luck to you!

beka said...

Good for you! Life is all about learning new lessons, right? I think you are being very mature about your limits, and we all have them. This time of year is so busy anyway that it can be tough to fit every thing in.

Sarah Frills4Thrills said...

I feel the same way sometimes! It's important to take a step back every once in a while so that we can be diligent in a couple things instead of halfsies in a million. Hang in there!

Maria Diana said...

I can absolutely relate to this post. Sometimes I commit to too much and it always turns out badly. :/

Good on you for being proactive and doing what is best for yourself. :)

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