#firsttrimesterproblems: tweets I couldn't tweet

Here is, I hope, a bit of comic relief. Pregnancy is WEIRD. And even though I feel like I'm the last person on earth to do this baby thing, there is still so much that was never told to me.

My first trimester journal, in tweet form (p.s. if you click on any of them, you can tweet them yourself!)

• Food photos on instagram: normally I love you and am inspired by you. This week you make me gag. #saynotosalads #firsttrimesterproblems

• Tim Allen's Pure Michigan commercial on the radio while I drive there in the falling snow: that's just not fair. #firsttrimesterproblems (same goes for the P&G Olympics commercial #crybaby)

• Woke up and felt normal for the first time in weeks. Immediately panicked. #firsttrimesterproblems

• I have always been a night owl, but lately I have been my husband's dream girl: ready for bed by 9pm. #firsttrimesterproblems

• I'm convinced that preggie pops are just so intensely sour that they distract you from nausea more than curing it. #firsttrimesterproblems

• Drinking tea, excessive gas, going to bed at 8:30pm. Pregnant or 93 years old? #firsttrimesterproblems

• When people tell you that you have the pregnancy glow, what they mean is you look fat and tired. #firsttrimesterproblems

• Isn't it awesome that coffee makes me sick during a time when I've never needed caffeine more!? #firsttrimesterproblems

• I have never understood George Costanza's under-the-desk nap cave better than I do now. #firsttrimesterproblems

Anything else I missed?