Friday, August 17, 2012

The mama club

I keep trying to blog about things I think I should be writing about, like what I've been up to for the past few months - what I've been cooking, wearing, where I've been traveling etc. But none of that has been motivation enough to write lately.

Suddenly yesterday I had an epiphany - why not just write what's on my mind? I know that sounds silly and obvious, but it was a freeing realization to just write what I've been thinking about lately.

So, what is on my mind? Incidentally, the topic of babies. I was talking to E the other night about how we have gotten together with couple friends (new and old) a lot more frequently lately, but that I have been the only imbibing female amongst every couple we've spent time with this summer. Between friends who are TTC, expecting, and lactating, I'm feeling a little bit out of the club.

E and I are in the stage of starting to talk about growing our family in a more real sense, with a real timeline (involving years); still, we're not quite ready. But there is something about all my friends having babies that still makes me feel a little left out. I mean, my mom friends are impressed by my knowledge of the physical effects of pregnancy, birth and post-partum, (this is primarily because I have been reading too much OMG Mom), but it is also evident I'm not able to relate to what has changed for them emotionally and turned their entire lives around and upside down.

Maybe this goes without saying, but I really want to stay friends with all these ladies as they become mamas. I think I'm just having a hard time adjusting to their new normal and figuring out how to maintain a relationship that includes my time and love for their babies, but also adult time to talk about non-baby things. It feels a little awkward, like the start of a new friendship.
 Do I suggest we go out baby-free? Do I offer to come over and help them around the house?
How do I talk about my day-to-day work and married life with them, when it doesn't seem nearly as significant as creating and nurturing a human life?

I know a lot of my friends are on the other side of this and maybe struggling as well to maintain healthy friendships with single or childless friends. So please weigh in - I would love to hear what ladies on both sides feel about this!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

The ultimate sacrifice

I have so many things to share and write about - baby showers thrown and attended (3), wedding events for my sister, travel, our crazy growing garden.

But for the past five days I've done little else but think about and pray for a woman I know from church who lost her husband in Afghanistan on Sunday.

It's strange: even though we know a lot of military families, I (ignorantly) thought things were basically over for the US military in the Middle East. I certainly didn't think about or realize US soldiers were still being attacked and still dying. So the news itself was completely shocking.

I have grieved the loss of people much dearer to me - family members and close friends, but the loss of Dan has come as such a huge blow to the church and community. E and I weren't close with Dan and his wife Rachel, but we had mutual friends at church and had attended a few game nights with them. In the past, I have been moved and saddened hearing about the loss of lives of our military members, but this was so close to home.

Dan was a sergeant in MARSOC (special ops in the Marines), and had already been in combat three times and was on his sixth deployment. He received a purple heart last summer in a combat that shattered his knee. Besides being a godly man who loved his family, I don't know how else to describe him except that he seemed way too bad ass to have anything happen to him. It's really hard to imagine one of the toughest strongest guys you can think of not making it.  But this isn't the movies, and the strong guy isn't coming home.

(taken from Facebook)

In part it feels disingenuous to be so torn up over his death, considering there are so many others suffering so much more deeply at this loss. But as Christians we mourn with those who mourn, and I can't help but dwell on the ugliness of death.
I'm just so thankful that death does not win in the end.

The very moment that believers die they are in paradise. Their battle is fought: their strife is over. They have passed through that gloomy valley we must one day tread; they have gone over that dark river we must one day cross. They have drunk that last bitter cup which sin has mingled for man: they have reached that place where sorrow and sighing are no more. Surely we should not wish them back again! We should not weep for them, but for ourselves.
-JC Ryle

Thank you for your service and sacrifice, Gunnery Sergeant Daniel J. Price.

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