Friday, August 17, 2012

The mama club

I keep trying to blog about things I think I should be writing about, like what I've been up to for the past few months - what I've been cooking, wearing, where I've been traveling etc. But none of that has been motivation enough to write lately.

Suddenly yesterday I had an epiphany - why not just write what's on my mind? I know that sounds silly and obvious, but it was a freeing realization to just write what I've been thinking about lately.

So, what is on my mind? Incidentally, the topic of babies. I was talking to E the other night about how we have gotten together with couple friends (new and old) a lot more frequently lately, but that I have been the only imbibing female amongst every couple we've spent time with this summer. Between friends who are TTC, expecting, and lactating, I'm feeling a little bit out of the club.

E and I are in the stage of starting to talk about growing our family in a more real sense, with a real timeline (involving years); still, we're not quite ready. But there is something about all my friends having babies that still makes me feel a little left out. I mean, my mom friends are impressed by my knowledge of the physical effects of pregnancy, birth and post-partum, (this is primarily because I have been reading too much OMG Mom), but it is also evident I'm not able to relate to what has changed for them emotionally and turned their entire lives around and upside down.

Maybe this goes without saying, but I really want to stay friends with all these ladies as they become mamas. I think I'm just having a hard time adjusting to their new normal and figuring out how to maintain a relationship that includes my time and love for their babies, but also adult time to talk about non-baby things. It feels a little awkward, like the start of a new friendship.
 Do I suggest we go out baby-free? Do I offer to come over and help them around the house?
How do I talk about my day-to-day work and married life with them, when it doesn't seem nearly as significant as creating and nurturing a human life?

I know a lot of my friends are on the other side of this and maybe struggling as well to maintain healthy friendships with single or childless friends. So please weigh in - I would love to hear what ladies on both sides feel about this!


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