a few months' perspective

The weird thing for me about transitions and difficult phases in life is that it's really hard to talk or write about them while I'm in the midst of them. Unless it's that stream-of-consciousness, I'm-not-sure-where-this-is-going babble...and there is a place for that, but for me it's not usually on the internet, or even on paper. I can't stand to write when I don't know what I want to say. (which is probably why I'll never be a brilliant author). I don't know that I have good perspective even now, but the itch to write returned, so I did.

I guess I should back up a few months.
This past summer and fall were really great for E and I. I (we) felt blessed and really thankful that we were both employed, staying in San Diego area for the foreseeable future, and having more time together after a long four years of E in school. We had a little extra income and could start paying down loans and enjoying a dinner out every few weeks without feeling guilty. We got more involved at church and spent more time with friends.

But then winter crept in, and we started feeling like maybe something should be happening. E had a good, but temporary/low-skill job while he waits for a pastoral call and I was getting restless and discouraged in my own job. We wrestled back and forth with what our next step should be and I started to get pretty down. After a few months we decided that we shouldn't put our life on hold indefinitely just because E might get a call to a church soon across the country or across the world. We needed to live in the present. So if he gets a call - great! We'll evaluate it when it comes, and if necessary, pick up and move. But if it takes one year, or five - we don't want to be living a lifestyle of waiting and settling for less, because 'just in case'.

I was ready to progress in my career, so I started the (nerve-wracking, exhausting, discouraging, frustrating) endeavor of job hunting in a field that I haven't directly worked in, and have good, but limited experience in - web communications and social media. I'll save that saga for the next post.

Almost five years post-college, I feel like I'm just starting to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. And I'm starting to realize why people say that they love their thirties...because they're actually starting to figure out what they want in life. (I want to be thirty and past this stage!) But I'm thankful for God's Word telling me WHO I am - a redeemed and beloved child of God - even as I struggle through the mess of growing up and getting older.

The worst of travel

Travel.

If you asked me two weeks ago, I would say it was one of my favorite things--both personal and business travel.

This weekend tempered my expectations a little. Let me tell you about it.

It started Thursday morning. I was feeling pretty confident walking out the door in the morning that I had things together. I hadn't made a list this time, relying on my previous travel "experience" (I usually travel 4-5 times a year for work)

About half-way to the airport it occurred to me that I had forgotten the book I needed to read for my book club. I'd been saving it specifically for this trip so I was pretty disappointed not to have it along.

Then, one by one, I realized how many more things I'd forgotten. My Greek homework. some brochures. my cell phone charger. I was nearly hyperventilating by the time I got to the airport, so I called my friend Kim and we caught up while I sipped a 'calm-down' latte.

I was going to West MI, but thought it would be faster & cheaper to fly into Chicago, rent a car, and drive up to the conference I was headed to. (And it should have been!)

After getting off the plane I eventually found my way to the rental car shuttle--carrying a suitcase, a large wheeled briefcase, a laptop bag and a 4 ft long display--and got everything worked out for my rental car. (which always takes forever, because I'm not 25) I walked out to the spot where they told me my tiny economy car was parked, and instead there was a teal Nissan Cube.

So I triple check the parking space # and what they wrote on my paperwork, pile all my things inside and get in the car to leave, puzzled.

When I get through the maze of cars to the exit, the gate attendant looks at my paperwork and says " Lady, you're in the wrong car." So I turn around head back with no idea where I'm going (rental car lots are confusing!), get lost, flag down an attendant and burst into tears.

I can be such a baby.

Thankfully this lady was really understanding. I asked them to find the car I was supposed to take (a Nissan Versa), which they brought over and had someone move all my luggage over to the new car. I pulled myself together and got on the road...where I sat in city traffic for 2 hours before breaking free for the two more hours it takes to get to Grand Rapids.

My work was very slow and pretty uneventful (not a good thing), and I was feeling a little discouraged getting ready to leave. 5 hours before my flight left I hopped into the car to head back to Chicago.

I took the tollway to get into the city and since I was paying for an I-Pass, went to the far left lane and tried to get through the gate. But the sensor wasn't tripping to lift the gate. So I backed up, pulled forward several times. Meanwhile, a line of cars pile up behind me waiting to get through. Finally an attendant came over, told me the pass was giving them an error and I had to pay cash.

I get into the city at 3pm on Sunday afternoon expecting smooth sailing. I hit crawling traffic for 20 miles before arriving at O'Hare.

3.5 hours later I arrive to drop off my rental car, but I have to make a complaint about the I-Pass. Wait in line, nervously check watch. Repeat.

I finally board the shuttle with 1 hr 15 minutes before my flight. I'm the third person on the shuttle and the old man driving the bus is waiting for it to fill up. The minutes are ticking by and I'm a ball of stress. We leave...and it's now 55 minutes until my flight departs.

The shuttle drivers announces the stops. Guess who is on the last stop? That's right, this girl.

At this point it seems like every single person is taking a much time as possible to make me late. 10 feet before my drop-off I grab my 4 pieces of luggage and bound off the bus before it comes to a complete stop. punch my flight info into the self-service check in machine as fast as possible and get a print out saying I missed check-in.

by 4 minutes.

no exceptions made. (despite my plea that I could wait a week for my luggage!)

After standing line for 20 minutes at customer service, I was told there is another flight out to SD, in 3.5 hours. There are 5 open seats. "You're #1 now, but you could be #31 by the time the flight boards." (Thanks for the assurance!)

At this point I have a breakdown which I share on Twitter because E is on a hike back home and not answering his phone. (Thanks to all of you that offered support!)

After a margarita and chips at the airport Chili's, I wait at the gate and am finally told I'll board the plane. We then sat on the plane waiting for a broken taillight to be fixed, the wings to be de-iced. Then we sit on the runway because there is a weather back up.

I spent the entire plane ride behind a 6 ft girl wearing a top-of-the-head bun AND a hooded sweatshirt, who also moved every 5 minutes so I couldn't see the movie being played. Even after I mentioned I couldn't see the movie and could she tilt the seat back?(she was sleeping anyway!), she still sat up directly in front of the screen.

(ps. the movie was Made in Dagenham, which was awesome)

I got home after 15 hours of traveling (a trip that usually takes 7 hrs max) and was not a very nice person until I woke up from 9 hours of sleep in my own bed.

Reading this story, I feel like my problems were just a few normal travel inconveniences and I'm a big baby. that's probably true. Thanks for letting me share anyway!

Office Decor

There is a serious lack of design information in the blogosphere on office decor.

Sure, with the new trend of working from home, there is a plethora of design inspiration for home offices, but I need cheap, conservative decor ideas for my windowless, work office.

I think I am experiencing some sort of depression in my corner closet/office and I know I can do something to help it with decorations, pictures, and lighting.

This is what it looks like today. (it looks much brighter than normal because I forgot to turn off my camera flash)

I bought a $30 Ikea standing lamp (which is too dim to avoid using the overhead fluorescents....ugh)

I can't change the colors or furniture, but the walls and desk/organization are really where I could use some help!

I noticed mpix.com's 25% off sale on metallic prints, and thought I might try posting something conservative, yet colorful on the wall where the door is.

After a quick browse of the keywords Italy, Venice, Canal, from the Creative Commons section on Flickr, I came up with a few favorite pictures I'd like to possibly print in a 16x20 size. Ideally, I'd like to pick out some other decor that matches the colors of my current furntiure, and the print.

Venice #1

Venice #2

Venice #3

Venice #4

Venice #5

#6

Another picture entirely?

Can you guys please help a design-illiterate, depressed, closet-office worker?

Vote for your favorite print (remember I have to order them soon to get the deal!) and please offer any other suggestions for cute organizers, wall calendars, bulletin boards.

Sincerely,

Need Some Color In My Life